Marriage are made in heaven and rituals are made to be perform for days by the Meeteis !!
I have been told that marriages are one of toughest decisions of one's life. Those words are indeed very true as I found out during those long , confusing preparatory ceremonies lastings days leading to the wedding .
I wasn't sure which was one was the longer one , waiting to marry my wife, after first seeing her 15 years back or the endless hours of rites and rituals !!
So when we finally decided to live happily ever after , I took to the stage ,wearing a kokyet and sitting expressionless in front of a huge elderly crowd for hours. The back-torturing posture was finally rewarded when my wife-to be appeared with the kundo pareng (a form of jasmine , used as blood purifier by the chinese ) and finally agreed to be the devoted loving wife.
To be honest , I wasn't sure what was happening especially with all the non-mother-tongue hymns and the strict instruction to avoid making any fascial expression (failed badly ) , even including suppressing even a smile ( on one of the best day of my life )!!.
Then I begin to wonder, actually quite frustrated of the lack or absence of knowledge of all these sacred rites and rituals perform for MY OWN WEDDING !! . So I decided to wander off a bit from our hierarchical society and learn a bit of what actually happens during a traditional Meetei wedding ceremony , especially the significance of all those rites and rituals.
I have tried to gather some information from a few individual sources but recently came across this wonderful book - "Critical analysis of the Meetei philosophy before the advent of Vaishnavism" , by Dr. L. Bhagyachandra .
And here I am , so glad to have learnt quite a few intriguing facts about the wedding . I am pretty sure it would be helpful to inviduals like me who have minimal idea of our many sacred traditions and actually have a very brief understanding of what goes on during one's own wedding !
I am hoping to share a few brief information, sort of an introductory to what and how the marriage ceremony are perform over a period of many many days !!!
The meetei wedding has quite a few ceremonies and rituals , starting with "waloitpo" ceremony , and culminating to the grand wedding day.
1. Waloipot ( wa aroiba ge Pot , the final word!! ) Puba -
Initially it all begins with the parents of the lucky groom requesting the parents of the bride for their beautiful daughter . If an agreement had been reached, an auspicious day is chsen to finalise the details and perform formal rites of the waloipot. On these particular day , the groom's family would bring delicacies to the bride's family, which are then to be offered to the ancestors of the bride's family , as a mark of informing the good news and then seeking blessing for the important decision and coming events.
2. Heijingpot ( Hai jabage pot ) -
In the Meetei tradition , the bride is seen as a blooming flower in the garden of her parents . As a request for this special flower , the groom family offer a varieties of fruits to the parents of the bride . The fruit , heikru ( gooseberries ) have a very important significance and is regarded as a vital ingredient of offering. If Heikru fruits are not available due to the season , then its branches are used in substitute . There is a Legend of Tampha Lailembi of Wangu , where the Haijingpot meant for her could not be completed due to the absence of Heikru fruits.
This fruits and other gifts articles offered by the groom's family are meant for the Apokpa ( Sacred ancestors) , Lam-Lai ( Local leikai God ) and bride's family and friends. This rituals of collecting and placing in a basket ( phiruk) is known as heijing-kharai- puba.
On the day of heijingpot , the Piba ( Male head of the bride's family ) conducts rituals where both the families offer their prayer to the supreme Lord , Taibangpal Mapu and the ancestors of the respective salais. And after the prayers , the bride's father formally receives the Heiching-kharai , which is then placed among a pot of rice by the bride's mother.
3. A day before the wedding , the bride's family then sent a formal invitation to the groom's family. This invitation is usually done by the bride's brother , where a garland made with Kundo flowers is given to the groom.
4. Wedding Day -
The day starts with a sacred rituals at the mangol ( veranda ) of the groom's family. A pot ( Ishaifhu) is filled with water to its brim and one bud of sangbrei( medicinal plant used by the Meetei for cleaning wounds and even for snake bites!) , one bud of langthrei ( herbs used for gastritis) and a white flower are placedin it . A fire ( nowadays a candle) is lighted and offerings of fruits are kept alongside it . The water from the pot is sprinkled as a symbol of sanctifying the groom and the person conducting the ritual. Hymns mentioning Ha-Hung-Hei-He-Hing , are sung and impression with the water are made on the body of the groom - forehead, centre of the chest and the navel.
The groom then worship and offer prayer to Salailel Sidaba ( the Highest Divine God , the soul of the universe) , Leimalel Sidabi ,Lainignthou Sanamahi and his parents. The son /groom after being blessed by his parents, then proceed to the bride's residence for the wedding ceremony.
5. wedding ceremony -
The groom is received at the bride's residence by the bride's mother where ritual herbs called khoichu-laikham are burnt to ward off evil spirits. The groom and his friends are then seated on the north-Eastern corner of the ceremonial place.This is in keeping with the meetei tradition of Nongpok Ningthou whose abode is to the eastern side .
On the wedding as well , the groom's family brings appropriate offerings to the Apokpa and Lamlai. Offerings are also made by uttering hymns to Lainingthou Sanamahi , Ipudhou Pakhangba , to the sun , the moon , to sky up and earth below .
The groom's family presents gifts to the bride consisting of gold ornaments , cloths etc. The Bride's family reciprocate by giving Aa-unpot ( dowry) according to their means . One of the most significant gift is the inclusion of a Tangkhul cloth or Leirumphee, without which it is believed that the marriage is void!!
Then the groom takes his seat in the middle of the courtyard and the Maibas perform rituals invoking the ancestors for their blessings. The bride then bow to the household deities and her parents and then join the groom in the middle of the courtyard. She walk in circles around the groom for seven times , and during completion of each circle, she casts flowers on to the groom.
This ends with the happy Couple exchanging Garland made of Kundo flowers .
And they lived happily ever after .
